I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

• You are not Ansel Adams
• Neither are you Herb Ritz
• Automatic Cameras - Aren't
• Auto Focus - won't
• If you can't remember, you left the film at home
• No photo assignment remains unchanged after the first day of shooting
• When in doubt, motor out
• If a photo shoot goes too smoothly, then the lab will lose the film
• If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid
• Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the Client is watching
• The most critical roll of film is fogged
• If you forgot, then you did not rewind the film
• Photo Assistants are essential, they give photographers someone to yell at
• The one item (batteries, film, and ect.) you need is always in short supply
• Interchangeable parts aren't
• Long life batteries only last for a couple of rolls
• Weather never cooperates
• Everything always works in your home, everything always fails on location
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism
• The newest and least experienced photographer will usually win the Pulitzer
• Every instruction given to a lab, which can be misunderstood, will be
• There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work
• Never tell the Photo Editor you have nothing to do
• Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't
• No photojournalist is well dressed
• No well dressed photographer is a photojournalist
• Professional photographers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs
• The nature shots invariably happen on two occasions:
• -when animals are ready.
• -when you're not.
• Same rule just substitute children
• Client Intelligence is a contradiction
• There is no such thing as a perfect shoot
• The important things are always simple
• The simple things are always hard
• Flashes will fail as soon as you need them
• A clean (and dry) camera is a magnet for dust, mud and moisture
• Photo experience is something you never get until just after you need it
• The self-importance of a client is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness)
• The lens that falls is always the most expensive.
• when you drop a lens cap, the inside part always lands face down in the mud.
• Bugs always want to land on the mirror during a lens swap.
• Your batteries will always go dead or you will need to put in a new film canister at the least opportune moment.
• Your batteries will always go dead during a long exposure (so with the shutter open).
• When you shoot the night away and never have to stop. Your film did not roll on to the take up reel.
• Sent by Les Benton
• Camera are designed with a built-in sensor, that senses the anticipation to develop the film.
• When the level of anticipation is highest, this sensor causes the back to flip open exposing the film.
• Sent by Takura Razemba
• Lenses are attracted back to their source - hard rocks.
• Corollary:
• The more expensive the lens, the greater the attraction.
• No matter how long you've had a convention for marking film holders, you will forget it - when exposing the once-in-a-lifetime shot.
• Safelights - aren't.
• The greater a photographer's excitement, the greater its chance of fogging film, scratching prints, and deleting files.
• The success of an assignment is inversely proportional to the product of its importance and the number of people watching.
• Strobes only explode when lots of people are watching.
• Corollary:
• Strobes only work when there is nobody else to see.
• The last six laws and corollaries were sent by Jason Antman